About your coach
welcome to my world…
Throughout my life, more often than not, the people I was interacting with both personally and professionally all shared one trait, they were products of trauma initiated in childhood and accumulated during their adult lives, mostly without their conscious awareness.
I didn’t know at the time it is was called trauma and even though it tended to steer more towards the small T end, I was overwhelmed by how may people were affected by it.
Sadly, it appears experiencing trauma is unavoidable but what is in our control is how we heal from it. The emotional wounds people carry through life are corrosive to their mental, physical and emotional wellbeing. The stress of the internal battle some people spend their whole lives fighting is exhausting and constantly syphons off their energy. No one has to live this way.
One thing that is blindingly obvious, we cannot continue living as we are. Our souls need to spend more time in nature. Our nervous systems need more moments of stillness and silence. And our minds need less things to worry about so our bodies can learn to relax allowing our magnetic energy to flow freely.
I wholeheartedly believe for our species to continue to evolve effectively, we need to slow down, reduce some of the busyness in our lives and create more genuine human connection, over synthetic artificial interaction.
In short, we would benefit from reconnecting to our human essence and away from so much technology. The relationship you have with yourself and the state of your internal environment dictates every area of your life. Nothing outside of you will ever heal you.
Now is the perfect time to discover, connect and align to yourself to create a robust foundation as we move with an ever changing world.
Me at a glance
My passions and who I am…
Cooking. Eating. Music - 90’s jungle, dnb, hiphop, dance. Long walks. Endless reading, anything by Agatha Christie, and literature on understanding humans. Writing. I’m an introvert. Not married nor do I have children, my little family consists of my man and our rescue dogs. Peace and quite, quality over quantity. My profession, I genuinely love what I do!
The Aim
It’s time to slow down, take your foot off the gas and dropping it down a gear. You are not stopping you are pausing while you re-evaluate where you are and where you go next.
Its time to direct your attention away from your external environment towards your internal environment, to examine how you think and feel, and the effects they are having on you personally and professionally.
By looking at your current reality and what’s happening on the surface you are then able to guide your focus beneath the surface to explore yourself on a deeper level to understand what’s driving your motivations and the beliefs you hold about yourself.
Its time to update your outdated identity and the beliefs attached to it. How deep you go and how much change you wish to create is down to you. This process is designed to cover as much ground as you need in order for you to achieve your desired outcome. For some this will be a complete life overhaul, for others a more light realignment.
Whatever your specific requirements are, I provide you with an environment to safely, calmly and gently explore yourself without fear of judgement or any pressure to achieve dramatic internal changes. The amount of conditioning someone has to unravel takes time, patience and consistent attention.
It’s the small incremental changes that in time, lead to larger breakthroughs. We work at a pace that is in harmony with your nervous system to gradually explore each area of you and your life that warrants your attention.
This isn’t about giving it all up, or dismantling the life you have built. It’s about evaluating your current situation, where there is alignment and why you are feeling stuck and what’s causing you to feel lost.
Everything I do is structured around you improving the relationship you have with yourself - all roads lead back to you and the balance and alignment of your internal environment. It’s from here you are going to create the direction you are heading in for the coming years. By strengthening your existing foundations, you are able to implement the necessary changes required for you to achieve your internal and external desires.
Through practice, you are taking back control of your internal narrative from your inner critic and replacing it with the narrative that is aligned to your desired outcome.
This is not therapy but there may be some coping mechanisms and emotional patterns you adopted in adolescence which you have carried through into adulthood, which no longer serve you, such as self sabotaging thoughts and behaviours which are detrimental to your health and progress. The approach we take is more reflective rather than dissective. Ultimately, our primary focus is where you are within yourself in the present moment and what you want to create more of in the future.
my ethos
I know first hand what it feels like to carry the weight of the mental and emotional burden left over from childhood. I am very much a product of small T conditioning. I am not a therapist, but we can’t ignore that an identity was created without our consent or conscious awareness in adolescence, and the affect it has had on our life and the decisions and choices we make throughout it.
I do not go as deep as a therapist might, nor do I help you to uncover or analyse the specific trauma you may have experienced in childhood. I do however guide you to explore your current thought and behaviour patterns to shine a light on the effect they are having on the relationship with yourself and your external pursuits such as relationships both personally and professionally.
When you start to process your emotions and reduce your mental overload, you quickly feel less stressed and dramatically improve your symptoms of anxiety.
You are not becoming a new person, nor are you killing off an old identity, all you are doing is rediscovering and reconnecting to an identity that has been side-lined by a more dominant survival driven identity.
Although the themes may be similar, each human has a unique set of circumstances that have contributed to the way they are and how they navigate life. You could spend the rest of your life unpicking every aspect of your childhood and the memories attached to it, which if it helps you great, but what if that alone isn’t enough? If the methods you’ve previously tried didn’t work, maybe it’s time to try coaching?
FAQs
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No. Therapy takes you back to relive and re-examine your past traumas. Coaching is present focused. We are directing your attention to how you think, feel, speak and behave in the present moment and the narrative attached to it. You are creating a healthier relationship with yourself, by updating your existing internal narrative, reconnecting to how you feel and creating habits to sustain the internal changes you are choosing to make.
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In short, it’s combining structured conversation with actions to enable you to reach your desired outcome quicker and more effectively than if you were doing it alone.
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The real question is “are you prepared to commit to doing the work”? Changing aspects of an outgrown identity and updating how you think and feel about yourself are not things you accomplish over night but you do with consistent repeated attention and action, it’s that simple.
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I 100% understand this belief, but it is just that, a belief and not a factually accurate one. Beliefs like this are driven by your survival self and become very loud and dominant any time you embark on actively changing how you think and feel. They are a perfectly natural part of the process and I provide you with actions to implement to aid you during this stage so you are fully supported at all times, making it easier for you to obtain and maintain your desired outcomes.
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It can help you implement boundaries within personal and professional relationships without feeling guilty. It can help you understand why you procrastinate and a practical way to work around it. It can help you change your career set up without having to start from scratch. The list is endless….
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Your bring the subject matter and I provide you with a space to explore the details freely and openly without judgement or criticism. You need time and patience to understand what is going on for you beneath the surface. Each session is designed to build on the last, you uncover layers of yourself as you move through the process. At the end of each session you leave with actions to implement until the next session.
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No problem, book a free 30 minute chemistry call for us to chat about any questions or queries you may have that aren’t listed here. Alternatively, you can email me via my email address located on the contact page.
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Life coaching tends to be focused on the goals you want to achieve. Whereas, with my style of self discovery coaching, I put the relationship you have with yourself front and centre, because how you feel on the inside dictates how you achieve your external pursuits (i.e., your goals). Therefore, I take a two lane approach, with one side helping you to feel better within yourself by creating genuine change and secondly, helping you create a plan of what you want and how you will achieve it.